


Surviving With Wade

by Fighting4Fandoms



Category: Deadpool (2016)
Genre: F/M, Wade has a great Ass!, Wade is Badass, Wade is Smartass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5737690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting4Fandoms/pseuds/Fighting4Fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice spends a while with Wade and Deadpool</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

If anyone said you were mad, they were wrong.  
They're wrong because the maddest person in the world would spend a night with the Merc with the Mouth; Wade Wilson.  
I'm much worse... I spent a really long time with Deadpool. Like a really long time with the fool.   
The first week wasn't that bad but hell live a little. That's what I would say anyway.   
A normal woman would be shit scared of him but since when have I been normal? I'm always the first to have the abnormality in the room.   
Most people would've thought his scars were horrific to look at but I still thought he was amazing, katanas and all.

I met him on a rooftop whilst I was beating the crap out of this random dude whom was as evil as VOLDEMORT!   
I was drunk earlier and I couldn't be bothered to think of anyone else. OKAY? Okay! 

Anywho... Wade is a nice guy, sexy with the red and black spandex and guns too. The muscles and the weapons.   
He is such a nice guy and surviving with Wade is fun.

Surviving with Deadpool is much more... FUN!


	2. Wade is a Chef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets up in the morning   
> feeling like Deadpool  
> gets the pan   
> lights the fire   
> and cooks pancakes 
> 
> Tik Tok Parody HEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite creepy. Just had to warn ya :)

The mornings with Wade Wilson were quite... lets say eventful. He always got up before me which was strange. I thought he would be the man who would lie in tell the woman told him to get up. So back to the deal, Wade woke me up abruptly as he was singing REALLY LOUDLY! It's good he's good at singing, when he wants to be, otherwise I would tear him limb from limb so they wouldn't reattach. I'm joking of course... or am I?  
His cooking's great too. He makes some sweet pancakes. I know they're supposed to be sweet but boy... they tasted good!   
So, yeah. Wade Wilson, under that quite frightening exterior, was quite the gentleman and a really kind person. I remember that time when we got captured by theses weird dudes and he used his powers to save me and my ass. Speaking of my ass... occasionally in the mornings and I'm still asleep the sheet or duvet (or what the hell you decide to call) would 'accidentally' fall of me, and because I wore shorts to bed, Wade decided to take action. He would touch my face with his soft hands although his hands were scarred his hands still had the soft feel to them.   
Anyway, didn't mean to talk about his hands. Who knows where they've been? (Cheeky)   
He lied down beside me without his mask and only wearing his underwear. He pulled the duvet over us and held me closer to his warm body. Boy, I think he has a heater built into his body. I woke a few minutes later, still in his arms with our hands entwining with each other. We lay there for a while, not even saying a word... until we both smelled the stench of smoke. Smoke from where? That was the question that ran through both of our minds. Simultaneously, we both shouted 'breakfast' at the top of our voices.

Wade ran to the kitchen with a fire extinguisher in his big hands and obliterated the flames. He looked goofily at me and offered the pan of pancakes.   
"Pancakes? It's a new recipe." 

I looked at him with a serious face then laughed so hard I nearly fell to the floor.


	3. Wade is a Stripper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice gets a great birthday surprise

It was the day of Alice's birthday, the great Miss E turned 34 that day and she had a big day a head of her. She woke up with a handsome and naked Wade Wilson by her side with his arms around her. She smiled at him with her beautiful, red, cupid-bow lips and placed a kiss to his rough cheeks. She rolled off the bed and landed onto her dainty feet and walked into the bathroom. By the way, when Alice moved into Wade's apartment she may have redecorated the place to look nice and have a pleasant, rich feel to it. Anyway, Alice stripped off the little amount of clothes she had on, let the water start to run and let the water gracefully fall onto her pale skin.  
Meanwhile Wade was busy putting all the presents for his girlfriend into the living room and making the room more romantic with roses that were the colour of blood and skulls that were patterned like sugar skulls. He smiled at his work and started cooking the breakfast the consisted of pancakes covered with chocolate sauce and strawberries... her favourite.  
She got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her slim body and walked into her room where a nice red dress with black shoes with red and black makeup lying on top of the dress. She put the dress on and curled her hair after applying the black eye shadow and red lipstick. She walked into the living room and saw Wade dressed in a nice suit. She went over to him and wrapped her arms around him whilst kissing his cheek. She felt like the luckiest person at that moment in time and so did Wade. Wade often wondered how he ended up with someone so beautiful. Was she faking her love for him? No, she wouldn't do that. It was Alice Evelynn for fuck's sake. He was like the beast and she was the beauty but Alice did say that she liked the person for how they were not by the person's appearance. 

Alice kissed her lover again just before the doorbell rang and she dashed out the door and into the limo that was waiting for her with her friends. Her girls were amazing and have been her friends since high school and college. The girls were called Emelí Rose, Jade Greenemore, Chloe Grace, Francesca 'Frankie' Meretti, Hectoria Harmona, Angelica Dawnshade, Evie Adams and Angel Drake. They had a long talk in the vehicle about their sex lives and how great there men and women were in their lives. They eventually arrived at the night club but what they weren't expected was that there was Wade Wilson sitting in the chair in the middle of the room. The girls filed in and Wade began to slowly strip of his clothes in front of Alice. Alice was speechless whilst watching the mercenary stripping in front of her and the girls.  
They had a great party whilst drinking booze and getting high as kites and pissed as fuck. When Wade and Alice got back home Wade carried her in bridal style and whispered into her ear.  
"So... did you have a great birthday Miss Evelynn?"  
Alice looked into his damn sexy eyes and said... "Yes Mr Wilson... Now come here"  
I bet you know what happened next don't you? 

Ciao


	4. A Day out with Wade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice and Wade sometimes go out and get up to mischief...

Wade was getting excited. We were going to the cinema and we were going to watch the greatest movie out in 2016. Wade isn't boastful or anything he just thinks very highly of himself that's probably why we were going to go and watch Deadpool. We were in England at the time visiting my family and we fancied going out and have some fun without actually causing bodily harm. So that was a no to paintballing and golf. Yes, Wade figured out how a golf club can go in places where the sun doesn't shine. Just try not to think about it. At least he picked a good movie to go and watch even if it has himself in it.   
I couldn't be bothered to put any effort to wear nice, posh clothes so I settled for something casual but will keep Wade happy. So when we arrived at the movies we ordered some popcorn and drank a nice 'drink' before we went to the watching-the-movie room. Thank God it wasn't full. I would've died if Wade embarrassed me. The movie itself was very good and no popcorn was being thrown at anyone yet. However the only bed part was the fact that Wade had to do his own fourth wall breaking DURING THE FLIPPING MOVIE!   
We got kicked out of the cinema thanks to Wade but I wasn't actually mad at him so we went to a nice restaurant instead and we had a nice 3 course meal which consisted mostly of Italian and Mexican food. It was an nice meal and it was without any mishaps so that was pretty great. Then after me and Wade had a walk around the town we were in at the moment. It was a nice warm evening although it was dark.   
Then we heard some screaming. We looked at each other with worrisome faces so we ran to the source of the screaming. Apparently I have the speed of a cheetah and I think it's because I have super speed thanks to the good genes.   
The source of the hassle was a young woman getting mugged by these two assholes. No idea who they actually were. Wade attacked from the front whilst I came with a stealth attack from the back. Everybody is KUNG FU FIGHTING! I love that song. We knocked them out pretty quick.   
"How ever can I repay you?" She asked like one of those princesses who are wayyyyyy too sweet.   
Wade, or course, dipped down and said, "No repaying back ma'am, you could give us a kiss though."   
The woman was about to kiss him but I knocked her out in time.   
"OH HELL NO!" 

"Sorry..." He said carefully. 

"You will be..." I laughed and gave him a nice kiss. :)


End file.
